Sunday, November 18, 2007
I’ve learned that the smell of a rotten pumpkin seeping through carpet is like nothing you’ve ever smelled and it will take an entire box of baking soda to absorb the stench.
I’ve learned that you get what you pay for and that cheap tights will assure you a day of the crotch at your knees starting at 9am!
I’ve learned that sensitive skin means that your wedding rings overtime will create a rash on your finger.
I’ve learned that nothing is more annoying than a woman taking the elevator to the second floor – TO WORK OUT AT A GYM!
I’ve learned it’s possible to have flights that leave on time – it’s called AIRTRAN!
I’ve learned that I miss my magazines when I don’t receive them in the mail.
I’ve learned that just when my dad decides to get wireless internet, I will end up not bringing my laptop.
I’ve learned that finding out your best friend is pregnant is almost as good as finding out that you, yourself are pregnant.
I’ve learned that my digital camera will break four hours before my 10-year high school reunion.
I’ve learned that seeing people I haven’t seen in years makes me wonder why I lost touch with the people in the first place.
I’ve learned that there is something amazing about friendships when the girls really know your mom.
I’ve learned that there is a reason why someone becomes your best friend.
I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how great a coat fits, you should not purchase it in hot pink.
I’ve learned that only in NYC does it take a half hour to go two miles.
I’ve learned that I absolutely LOVE that I have a friend who I have steady plans with each week, and I miss her when we have to skip a week because of a holiday.
I’ve learned that I now know my preferred method of shipping packages – DHL!!!
I’ve learned that washing black tights will cause the water to turn a very dark shade of gray.
I’ve learned that as much as I want a dog, taking care of my neighbor’s dog for three weeks shows me that we will basically have a small zoo in our apartment.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
I’ve learned that brand new black Uggs will turn your feet BLACK!
I’ve learned that not all morning meetings require coffee because sometimes people just bring their own.
I’ve learned that you need to ask if there will be celery in the food.
I’ve learned that an MRI can spot two fractures when your doctor thought there was really only one.
I’ve learned that a $1 sale at the baked goods booth at the farmer’s market does not mean I need to purchase three things.
I’ve learned that just because all the pumpkins are $10, it doesn’t mean I need to buy the biggest one because that only means I’ll have to pay $15 to hail a taxi to take me home!
I’ve learned that I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to move from NYC because I finally found the perfect hair stylist.
I’ve learned that ordering clothing from Nordstoms only means that by the time my “fall coat” actually arrives, it will already be freezing cold outside.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t have your heart set on eating a specific restaurant because by the time you get there the place will be PACKED and you’ll be so hungry that you don’t care what you eat.
I’ve learned that it’s better to sweep hardwood floors than to vacuum them.
I’ve learned that there is no reason to keep that empty pot if you don’t plan on buying a plant to go in it.
I’ve learned that when you really truly want something to happen, you can make it happen – all you have to do is try!
I’ve learned that there is nothing better than clean sheets and clean towels.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
I’ve learned that causing a commotion in an MRI and Diagnostic Center will cause my doctor to make a phone call.
I’ve learned that when they tell you not to fall asleep during an MRI, they really do mean it.
I’ve learned that I can skip the candy bar at the drug store if I only think of the candy corns waiting for me at home.
I’ve learned that a flu shot is not that bad!
I’ve learned that some people just don’t like Justin Timberlake (wha?).
I’ve learned that carrying one bag on your commute is better than carrying two.
I’ve learned that the friend who currently knows me best is a girl who has never even heard my voice.
I’ve learned that just when you think you get a comfortable seat on the train where you can read your book, here comes a guy who feels it’s necessary to sit right down next to you when there are 24 other seats…. And he then proceeds to pull out a NEWSPAPER!
I’ve learned that I not only have the best doctors in NYC, I also have the best tailor.
I’ve learned that when you’re fully prepared for rain, it won’t rain and then you’re left looking like an idiot in big-ass rain boots.
I’ve learned that you can eat a restaurant more than 50 times before, but it doesn’t guarantee that you won’t get food poisoning.
I’ve learned that I’m not sure it’s a good thing when my husband says “It’s good to have you back to normal”.
I’ve learned that all it takes is a 24-hour bout of food poisoning to make you drop that extra three pounds, but I’m not really sure it was worth it!
Sunday, October 21, 2007
I’ve learned that higher waisted jeans are better.
I’ve learned that cat love new toys.
I’ve learned that sometimes you just get used to being alone even though you don’t like it.
I’ve learned that the easiest way to put on a few pounds is to cut out your main form of exercise.
I’ve learned that a doctor can easily misdiagnose an issue if you don’t tell him your exact symptoms.
I’ve learned that late birthday presents are the best.
I’ve learned that sometimes I just don’t feel like talking to ANYONE.
I’ve learned that you can become close friends with someone without ever hearing their voice.
I’ve learned that you need to read the ebay description closely.
I’ve learned that sizes are nothing but a number and it’s better to wear clothing you feel good in than squeezing into clothing that just does not fit.
I’ve learned that at this point, I will wear anything that allows me to walk comfortably and if that means having to buy crocs, then SO BE IT!
I’ve learned that even when the weather is 75 degrees and sunny, lazy Sundays are sometimes better spent on the couch catching up on television shows.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
I've learned that I will use any excuse to get out of the office when it's 75 degrees and sunny.
I've learned that a purse can tie a whole outfit together.
I've learned that when you have a good job everyone around you will wonder why you're so happy.
I've learned that if the foot isn't getting better, you need to take the matter into your own hands and go to an Orthopedist.
I've learned sometimes you can squeeze into some pants, but if they are white, you might as well forget about wearing them.
I've learned that chicken noodle soup and mini carrots might possibly be the best lunch ever.
I've learned that you should always keep some candy in your purse.
I've learned that you should always recheck yourself in the mirror before heading outside to go to work.
I've learned that a person can't always be fashionable, there has to be off days too.
I've learned that when you don't expect much, you won't be disappointed.
I've learned that some things should not be done over text messages.
I've learned that birthdays don't always have to be perfect to be special.
I've learned that if you pick any day to be 30 minutes late to a reservation at TAO, it might as well be your birthday.
I've learned that pearls might actually be a women's best friend and that you should leave it up to your mom (aka Jewelry Queen) to get you 9mm pearl earrings!
I've learned that a flea market in Louisville, Kentucky isn't worth going to and you should opt for the zoo instead.
I've learned that there is nothing better than hanging out with your cool 91-year-old grandma making faces at a camera.
I've learned that people don't put a password on their wireless internet in Kentucky.
I've learned that sleeping with cupcakes is absolutely possible.
I've learned that a friend really knows you when instead of getting you a gift, she makes a donation to the ASPCA in your name.
I've learned that some girls can be so overcome with jealousy that it will overtake their life when all they need to do is be happy with what they have instead of harping on what they don't.
I've learned that it's possible to have two separate colds in a one-week period.
I've learned that the last thing I want to see at 9am in the morning right in front of my office building is a man in biker shorts.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
I’ve learned that running across the platform to catch a train is pointless because doors will only close in my face.
I’ve learned that Birkenstocks are said to be the perfect shoes for a hurt foot, so I’m one step closer to healed.
I’ve learned that I get more compliments about the way I look from strangers than I do from my husband.
I’ve learned that there is nothing more annoying than someone talking on a cell phone in the waiting room of a doctor’s office!
I’ve learned that not being able to wear heels for a month means I have to get a whole new birthday outfit to go out to dinner and I’m not complaining!
I’ve learned that men do not get up out of a seat on a train for a pregnant woman or a screaming baby; it’s ALWAYS a woman who gets up.
I’ve learned that when your Spanish friend is ordering dinner for you at a Spanish restaurant, you have to make it clear to her exactly what you want!
I’ve learned that finding black fur in my orange cat’s mouth means I will find a good scratch on his face from that black cat later.
I’ve learned that when you can’t find a simple silver clutch purse, you need to ask your friend where to go because she will definitely think of a place you haven’t thought of and you will find that purse for $8!
I’ve learned that after four years of living here, I know the best way to get home, NOT the taxi driver!
Saturday, September 15, 2007
I've learned that some people THINK they know who you are, but they don't know you even the slightest bit.
I've learned that I'm not the only one who thinks their cat is their soul mate.
I've learned that ballet flats don't help a hurt foot.
I've learned that some women have not discovered the nude color bra to wear under a white t-shirt.
I've learned that some people just have horrible tattoos.
I've learned that it's possible to accumulate ten pairs of shoes at my office.
I've learned that even when your hair looks great down and curly, sometimes you're just in the mood for a ponytail.
I've learned that everything looks better with a belt.
I've learned that black is dressy whether you spend $20 on the shirt or $50.
I've learned when the trains are deserted, it probably means it's a Jewish holiday.
I've learned that there's something to be said about splurging on expensive perfume and not feeling guilty about it.
I've learned that my new favorite person is Perez Hilton (and no, that's not a typo!).
I've learned that speakerphones on cell phones do not work when there are ten people talking.
Saturday, September 08, 2007
I’ve learned that vigorously shaking a phone after dropping it in a glass of water really might make it come back to life no matter what your husband might think.
I’ve learned that the “like it” size at Coldstone is more than enough.
I’ve learned that when it’s 85 degrees outside, wear a dress!
I’ve learned that some people will just never understand unless you flat out tell them.
I’ve learned that there is nothing like a bright blue shirt.
I’ve learned that after ten days of foot pain, it’s time to start wearing flats.
I’ve learned that sometimes it’s just better to be alone.
I’ve learned that the only way your parents will change their cell phone provider is if you tell them you will stop calling.
I’ve learned that having too much time on your hands does not mean you need to spend more money.
I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter what time you get to Target…. It’s gonna be PACKED!
I’ve learned that when I have a little more weight on me, the black guys are mesmerized, and they don’t try to hide it even while I’m holding my husband’s hand.
I’ve learned that when you fall asleep on the couch at 7:30pm, it means your body needs it.
I’ve learned that when you talk to a friend on the phone for over two hours, it probably means you should talk more often.
I’ve learned that just because someone is supposed to be planning a huge event, doesn’t necessarily mean they are, and when you find out they aren’t, you and the rest of the 1997 Princess Anne population are gonna be real pissed.
I’ve learned that it’s ok to re-read a book even if it’s a book you read when you were eleven years old.
I’ve learned that, yes, it is necessary to purchase six pairs of shoes in a three-week period.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
I’ve learned that you can’t really wear flip-flops in 50-degree weather - especially when it’s raining.
I’ve learned that when an umbrella is small enough to fit in your bag, don’t listen to your husband about not needing one.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t vent about your friends on a blog.
I’ve learned that there are some shoes that will give you blisters no matter how many times you’ve worn them.
I’ve learned that it’s impossible to find pistachios in the Brooklyn borough.
I’ve learned that eating healthy means spending more money – pasta and bread are cheap – veggies and fruit are not.
I’ve learned that three days of eating no carbs means having a smaller waist.
I’ve learned that there is no way of getting out of a doctor’s office in less than an hour.
I’ve learned that while shopping for new clothing, always go to Old Navy first because most likely you’ll find something similar to that dress you just found somewhere else for HALF THE PRICE and then you’ll only have to go back to return the more expensive one.
I’ve learned that I will never pick a color of nail polish that I’m happy with.
I’ve learned that there is no point in stocking up on fruit – they will go bad in the refrigerator.
I’ve learned that Urban Outfitters has some ugly ass shoes.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
I’ve learned that when it’s being delivered UPS, it probably means you’ll have to go pick it up from the UPS facility yourself!
I’ve learned that it’s basically impossible to pick out thoughtful gifts for your husbands family for each and every occasion.
I’ve learned that sometimes a Wendy’s Frosty is just as good as a cupcake (and cheaper!).
I’ve learned that it might not be possible for me to ever go back to carrying a leather purse after carrying LeSportsac around for the entire summer!
I’ve learned that there are some CDs that you never get sick of listening to.
I’ve learned that I’m getting to the age where I have more serious things going on in my life than having to worry about friends being mad at me for no reason.
I’ve learned that I wish my best friend lived in NYC.
I’ve learned that products I love will always be discontinued – first it was my Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, then my favorite mascara, then my tampons and now, I can’t even get a decent bra at Victoria’s Secret.
I’ve learned that I don’t mind walking up and down 4 flights of stairs to do laundry as much as I hate having to fold it all after it’s done.
I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter what time of day it is, when a movie is on I will fall asleep.
I’ve learned that it will start raining when I don’t have an umbrella.
I’ve learned that after you go shopping, you must try things on again at home because it might not fit right when you look in your own mirror.
I’ve learned that I’m more than happy about being able to wear Old Navy again.
I’ve learned that it’s kinda fun to get hit on by the bus driver at 8am.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
I’ve learned that people who are not from New York have no idea what it means when there are absolutely no trains running.
I’ve learned that I can do twice as many sit-ups as my husband and I enjoy telling him this every day.
I’ve learned that all it takes is three weeks of lifting weights to see a difference in your arms.
I’ve learned that when my cat is acting crazier than normal, it probably means there is a bug somewhere in our apartment.
I’ve learned that the comfort of coming home to a cool apartment after walking 15 minutes in 95 degree heat is worth the $140 electric bill.
I’ve learned that just because USAIR has the most convenient flights, it doesn’t exactly mean I’ll be leaving on time or even THAT DAY.
I’ve learned that you must wear cotton when the weather gets above a certain temperature.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t wait until the last minute to use the bathroom when boarding a flight because the lavatories may be out of order.
I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how many times you’ve flown on an airplane, when you’re prone to motion sickness, it’s only a matter of time until you throw up on a flight.
I’ve learned that those little bags in an airplane are there for a reason.
I’ve learned that when your trustee brand of tampons decides to change their design and you find the original design at Cosco…. it’s ok to purchase four boxes of 100.
I’ve learned that sometimes saying “I am tired” is not enough, and that you actually should say “I want to go home.”
I’ve learned that when you go on a trip, you always go back with more than you came with.
I’ve learned that one pair of jeans, three tank tops and one pair of flip flops is enough clothing for two days.
I’ve learned that there comes a time in your life where you care and love so much about ONE person that you come to realize that all you’ve had or felt in the past meant nothing.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
I've learned that while Nintendo Wii cost us $300, it only saves us money since now we don't have to join a gym!
I've learned that sometimes you just need a break from a friendship.
I've learned that you shouldn't wait until the last day to mail in a rebate.
I've learned that it's almost impossible to find the most perfect birthday card for your best friend.
I've learned that it's nice to have reliable dinner plans with a friend each week.
I've learned that cupcakes are just too heavy for a summer snack and that's where PINKBERRY comes in!! (www.pinkberry.com)
I've learned that you just can not purchase throw pillows online - you have to see them in person.
I've learned that when it's 95 degrees outside and you have to go to Target, it's perfectly ok to take alternate modes of transportation that takes you twice as long to get there.
I've learned that drinking a glass of wine BEFORE dinner might impair your ability to use chopsticks.
I've learned that right when I start talking about not seeing a cockroach for months in our apartment, one will come a crawling just to wave hello.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
I've learned that forgetting my ipod in the morning will assure me a day of annoyance while riding the train.
I've learned that living in NYC means you have to start planning for the holidays in July or else you won't be able to get a rental car.
I've learned that walking up and down four flights of stairs to do four loads of laundry means you can skip the leg exercises for one day.
I've learned that I need to carry around one of those hand-held fans for when I'm down in the subway stations.
I've learned that an elastic band to put up your hair was the best invention ever created.
I've learned that after more than a year of working in the fashion industry, it's fun to get compliments on my clothing again.
I've learned that the people at my new job, who have only known me for five weeks, know me better than people at Michael Kors who I worked with for 15 months.
I've learned that ingesting squid ink risotto will most definitely turn your poop black!!!!
I've learned that spending $2.50 on two peaches at the organic food market are not any better than the peaches you get at the grocery store for half the price.
I've learned that you should never tell a friend where you got a piece of jewelery.... jewelery is very personal, and it's weird to see a necklace you have on someone else when it means something special to you.
I've learned that when you wear the wrong underwear and they are seriously driving you crazy, it's perfectly ok to go commando.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
I've learned that only one week ago I had no idea who Michael Vick was, and now that I do, I will make sure that everyone I know knows who he is, what he did, and what should be done.
I've learned that I can only walk two blocks to purchase a thirty one pound box of cat litter at the store, carrying up three flights of stairs is another story.
I've learned that every single picture from college shows me with a cigarette in my hand.
I've learned that I will never get used to the cockroaches that I am forced to share the sidewalks with in the summer.
I've learned that when I want some ice in my drink (which I NEVER do), we will have no ice in the freezer.
I've learned that doing fifty squats to tone my legs will mean I won't be able to walk in the morning.
I've learned that there is nothing to make you feel better about having to go up a size in jeans than finding those SEVENs at a thrift store for $25!!
I've learned that when I really really want to make a trip home, flights will be $400 and no chance of going down in price any time in the near future.
I've learned that it's exciting to take a break from your every weekend routine to hang out with a girl who you don't have to impress, who you can talk about your family with (because she KNOWS your family) and you can have so much fun with at the same time.
I've learned that when someone seriously looks familiar, you should ask them where you know them from because chances are they might be from VIRGINIA BEACH, GRADUATED FROM PRINCESS ANNE in 1997 and is living IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD!!! (so exciting)
I've learned that sometimes you have a friend who you thought was a great friend, but one thing can change the way you feel about her forever.
I've learned that if Charlie hears me talking about David Beckham one more time, I think he's going to tell me to move to Los Angeles.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
I've learned that it can be so hot outside that you can feel your legs sweating.
I've learned that not drinking enough water will cause a headache.
I've learned that a one hour lunch break is sanity that I never knew I was missing.
I've learned that it's not a good idea to go three weeks without washing clothing.
I've learned that working at a university means that everyone will think I'm a student because I STILL LOOK LIKE I AM 19 YEARS OLD!!!!
I've learned that hair does not need to be blowdried when it's 85 degrees outside in the morning and I have to walk 15 minutes to the subway!
I've learned that it's impossible to get some regular tampons! Easy Glide, Pearl, Fresh, Compax, blah blah blah--- just give me some regular cardboard applicator tampons so I don't have to walk 4 blocks in 95 degree weather to get them!!!!
I've learned that after walking those FOUR blocks in 95 degree heat, that I will always manage to get in line behind a college student purchasing $311 worth of stuff at WALGREENS on her parent's credit card!
I've learned that while you're standing in that line, you will realize you need toothbrushes, but there are so many choices of toothbrushes that you'll accidentally purchase the MEDIUM ones that are TOO HARD TO BRUSH WITH!!!!
I've learned that Ben & Jerrys will mysteriously discontinue my favorite flavor (Oatmeal Cookie)-- and this week was not the right week to do it.
I've learned that while I have the opportunity to take all the college classes I want FOR FREE, I'm going to start to learn how to cook! I'm starting with a cupcake class-- next are chocolate truffles.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
I've learned that reorganizing our apartment makes for a whole new outlook on how much longer we can stay here.
I've learned that it's pretty hard not to talk to your best friend for three weeks while she is away in the Philippines.
I've learned that I will never remain at a job where I'm miserable.
I've learned that I'm going to get too used to this whole "summer Fridays" thing and I'm not going to want to go back to a regular schedule come September!
I've learned that when you feel like you're getting sick, you probably aren't, but there are those few times where the sore throat actually means something!
I've learned that stoop sales (known as garage sales in rural areas) are the best when you can find something you've actually been wanting.
I've learned that I LOVE my huge logo Dooney and Bourke bag and I'm SO HAPPY that I can use it again!
I've learned that there will never be enough room for all my clothing.
I've learned that you should never wait too long to book a flight… especially on a holiday weekend.
I've learned that time can actually go by fast at the DMV (I'm serious, people!).
I've learned that I need to make my own plans and stop waiting for everyone around me to follow through.
I've learned that I'm going to start keeping a dozen cupcakes frozen in my freezer so that when I want one, I don't have to go all the way to the Lower East Side to get one!!!
Sunday, June 24, 2007
I've learned that it takes time to pick which of the two job offers to take, but when they both REALLY want you, they will give you all the time you need.
I've learned that you shouldn't always take the job where the money is, sometimes you need to take the position where you'll be most happy.
I've learned that only time will tell if I made the right decision.
I've learned that you should NEVER forget to bring socks on a plane.
I've learned that I am no longer the same generation that hangs out at "the block" in Virginia Beach and I'm just wondering when this all happened!
I've learned that there is nothing more to remind me of the fact that I am a Democrat than going back to visit Virginia Beach where people don't believe in gay marriages and people aim for squirrels in their big huge gas guzzling trucks.
I've learned that I will NEVER EVER understand how anyone in MY generation does not believe in gay marriages.... can someone explain this to me?
I've learned that late nights spent talking with an old friend will remind you of the reason you are friends in the first place.
I've learned that I will never win at BINGO.
I've learned that there will never be enough time to spend with your mom.
I've learned that if you leave your computer in the possession of your husband while you are away on vacation, that he will run a virus scan that mysteriously causes the computer to stop working permanently and when you get home, YOU will be the one who has to run around having a nervous breakdown because there hasn't been a backup ran in about a year.
I've learned that after knowing my husband for 5 years, he's NOW decided to tell me that HE likes the window seat on an airplane.
I've learned that San Francisco has more people begging for money than New York City.
I've learned that high-end retail stores do not interest me while I'm on vacation.
I've learned that I WILL FIND a fabulous cupcake shoppe even when I'm on the other side of the country- and they will know my name by the end of the week.
I've learned that if you're not interested in wine, don't waste your time going to Napa Valley unless you don't mind driving around for hours to see the amazing views.
I've learned that hot air balloon rides are amazing and worth every penny.
I've learned that there are Jelly-Belly flavors such as booger, dirt and vomit (i'm not kidding!!) and that the young teenage boy working at the factory will think it's funny to tell me that the vomit Jelly-Belly is pepperoni pizza.
I've learned that when leaving a hotel room, you MUST CHECK the closet to see if you've forgotten anything because your favorite black blazer might still be hanging in it when you decide to drive to the next vacation destination which is 3 hours away.
I've learned that a vacation in California can cost more than a honeymoon.
I've learned that there is no reason to pack 5 dresses, 4 handbags, and 9 pairs of shoes because you'll only wear 3 pairs of shoes, you'll only use the handbag you used when boarding your plane in NYC and you will not wear even ONE of those dresses!
I've learned that people coming back from vacation always use the "jet-lag" excuse--- there is no such thing as "jet-lag".... you just don't want to go back to work!
I've learned that there is nothing better than hearing that MEOW coming from the other side of the apartment door while I walk up 3 flights of steps after a vacation.
Saturday, June 02, 2007
I've learned that it's perfectly ok to turn down a second interview when you are not interested.
I've learned that if you aren't at all interested in a job, you shouldn't even waste your time going to the interview.
I've learned that many offers will come my way, but it's up to me to decide which one to chose.
I've learned that stress brings on weight loss and I can't afford to lose any more.
I've learned that there is nothing better than the clearance rack at Banana Republic in Fairfax, Virginia!
I've learned that dressing up for work might not be that bad.
I've learned that pop-rocks can make my day especially when I can pop them between my teeth and have them directly shoot my husband in his face.
I've learned that things might not go as planned, but that you might be better for it.
I've learned that when your husband says he doesn't want any of that fried ice cream, you shouldn't give him a spoon!
I've learned that you should never trust what someone says... get that shit in writing!
I've learned that I don't have to get ice cream at every ice cream truck that passes by - Ben and Jerry's at the corner store might be the better choice.
I've learned that the best jobs are ones you find for yourself, not ones that a recruiter finds for you.
I've learned that when you've got two amazing offers on the table, you need to pick which one is best for you, not the one that everyone is telling you to take.
I've learned that it's nice to feel confident and wanted again.
I've learned that nothing is stable in the fashion industry.
I've learned that I don't need to suffer in the heat when I have an air conditioner that works wonders.
I've learned that sometimes you need some fish tacos.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
I've learned that if there is any chance of rain, bring an umbrella.
I've learned that you should never lock your husband out of the bedroom and then fall asleep.
I've learned that you can never have too many comfortable ballet flats!
I've learned that there is nothing better than having a fabulous black suit you know you look good in.
I've learned that when you have a lot of time on your hands, there is never going to be a big enough battery for your cell phone.
I've learned that my husband enjoys researching my ailments and he has diagnosed me with dermatillomania.
I've learned that black clothing doesn't go well with a tan cat.
I've learned that a lunch is much more expensive on the upper east side.
I've learned that interviewing is absolutely exhausting.
I've learned that too much sugar will cause a stomach ache.
I've learned that I will be called back for a second interview on every single meeting I attend and sometimes I'm just going to have to say I AM NOT INTERESTED!
Saturday, May 12, 2007
I've learned that when I walk slow down the street, people think it's an invitation to talk to me.
I've learned that you can wear shoes for two hours and think they are the most comfortable shoes ever, but wearing them for an entire day (including the back and forth 15 minute walk to the subway) will make you think differently about how comfortable they really are.
I've learned there's a reason I don't take THAT train!
I've learned I live through the NYC winter, and each year I honestly forget how hot it gets in our apartment when it's more than 60 degrees outside.
I've learned that talking to your best friend's husband is almost as good as actually talking to your best friend.
I've learned that a $13 cab ride can cost $20.
I've learned that a cigarette isn't going to make me feel better, it's only going to make me feel dizzy.
I've learned that once a person shits on you once, they will be quick to shit on you again.
I've learned that sometimes you HAVE TO tell someone what they are getting themselves into.
I've learned that it's nice to hear another dad's opinion when yours isn't around.
I've learned that I'm not the only one in my marriage who has ideas of packing up everything, storing it all in Virginia Beach, and purchasing one way flights to somewhere in the world.
I've learned that there's a lot I would do for a Klondike Bar.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
I've learned that sometimes you need a good cry.
I've learned that your husband surprising you at work can turn your entire day around.
I've learned that when the weather is nice and you work across the street from a park, you should take advantage of it during your lunch break!
I've learned that it's perfectly ok to cancel plans with friends to spend time with your husband.
I've learned that sometimes you need to leave the place where you're currently successful to make a better life for yourself in the future.
I've learned that no sample sale is worth standing in a line that is two blocks long BUT I've learned that standing in a long line at TJMaxx to purchase a pair of jeans for $99 that you would normally get at Bloomingdales for $240 is worth every single second!
I've learned that you need to try clothing on because sometimes the size is mislabeled.
I've learned that it's possible to LOVE President Bush for ONE DAY! On Thursday, May 3rd, President Bush finally passed The Animal Fighting Prohibition Enforcement Act which helps law enforcement to get rid of the cruel sport known as dogfighting (think Pit Bulls) and cockfighting. Perpetrators found guilty will now be known as a felon, have to pay a large fine and can face jail time. This law has been in the works for about six years. So for ONE DAY I commend Bush for looking out for the rights of animals. To read more about it, please visit the Humane Society's website at: The President Signs Landmark Animal Fighting Legislation
Saturday, April 28, 2007
I've learned that those sneakers are at an outlet store for a reason -- try them on!
I've learned that getting someone an unexpected gift is almost as good as getting yourself one.
I've learned that a day without myspace isn't going to kill me.
I've learned that ordering eighteen (yes! 18!) personals at work six months before the season starts might actually not be the best idea!
I've learned that cards in the mail are the best especially when they are from your mom.
I've learned that your feet shouldn't get wet while wearing rain boots you bought four months ago!
I've learned that the longer my hair gets, the more compliments I receive.
I've learned that eating pasta for lunch will certainly get looks (and comments) from other girls in the office.
I've learned that Old Navy is the best place to go for basics like tank tops and tshirts.... (ok, and that little trendy black dress thing).
I've learned that if a restaurant gave you a stomach ache before, there's a good possibility it's going to give you stomach ache again!
Saturday, April 21, 2007
I've learned that guacamole left uncovered in the fridge will turn the most beautiful shade of green.
I've learned that you can't wait forever to paint the apartment.
I've learned that Subway makes the best chocolate chip cookies I've ever eaten in my life.
I've learned that the weather will get nice--- eventually.
I've learned that wearing big-ass boots while walking around Atlantic City for four hours will cause the balls of your feet to not only be in pain, but to actually feel like they are on fire.
I've learned that there is no perfect jacket for 60 degree weather.
I've learned that I need to wear lotion on my hands.
I've learned that no matter how hard I try, I will always buy too many groceries to comfortably walk home carrying them.
I've learned that wearing less clothing attracts unwanted attention.
I've learned that I can make killer pasta salad!
Sunday, April 15, 2007
I've learned that you should just leave it up to your mom to find you a scarf that isn't itchy.
I've learned that all you need to do is go out with a group of girls you haven't seen in 10 years to make you feel like you belong.
I've learned that you can't ask some random girl in Virginia Beach where she got her purse without her looking at you like you are crazy.
I've learned that I don't have to plan a trip to Vegas each year to make my husband happy on his birthday.
I've learned that after an entire lifetime of picking at my hands, I was destined to get an infection at one time or another!
I've learned that the key to a flight leaving on time is US AIR.
I've learned that nothing is better than a NYC radiator.
I've learned that my new addiction is wild cherry Luden's cough drops.
I've learned that paranoia will drive you crazy even when there is no reason at all to be paranoid.
I've learned that I will always manage to sit on a bus where the person behind me is snoring, the person in front of me is talking on a cell phone, the person next to me has a baby that will not stop crying and the chair I'm sitting in is broken.
I've learned that if I complain enough about how cold I am, my husband will ask the bus driver to TURN OFF the air conditioner.
I've learned that it actually can take two hours to drive 20 miles in NYC.
I've learned that catnip and a scratching post might save my furniture.
I've learned that even when you have nothing to do, you still don't want to wash laundry!
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
There is a whole lot of construction going on in the
So I decided to go to Target today after work. I needed to get a few odds and ends. You know, the regular – mousse, conditioner, a frozen pizza, a bag of York Peppermint Patties (ok throw the soft batch Pepperidge Farm Cookies in the basket too!). So I’m walking up those never ending sets of stairs that I’m constantly walking up and down each day and I see this pretty odd character at the top of the stairs. Ok, so I’m being nice… he was a THUG. Seriously.
I’m minding my own business with my ipod pumping out some Norah Jones, hoping he thinks I’m listening to JayZ so we have something in common. And there I am waiting for the elevator—no one around—and I see him following behind me. I’m thinking to myself…”Shit! This is so not safe.” But whatever—I keep my cool. I live in NYC, you don’t think this hasn’t happened to me before? I try to ignore him as he taps me on my shoulder and asks me if the elevator is going up to the street, and I lie saying that I wasn’t sure— hoping I wouldn’t have to get in the elevator alone with this guy who is three times my size while I hold my Michael Kors bag, wearing my brand new Pumas and my $200 SEVEN jeans.
We get in the elevator alone – just the two of us and I think to myself—“What is the worst that can happen to me here? I might look small – but I can beat some ass if I need to!” There we are in the elevator while he tries to make small talk with me and I’m thinking…”Hey! Wait a minute. This guy isn’t too bad. He’s cool, right?” We’re laughing in the elevator hoping it’s taking us up to the street, the door opens and he’s like…”I smell FRESH AIR! This is a good sign!” And inside I start to feel bad that I was actually afraid of this guy. I start to walk away as we casually tell each other to have a great night and all of a sudden I hear him say…”Hey! Can I ask you a question?” I turn around, “Sure!” Thinking he’s gonna ask me if I “gotta boyfriend” or some shit. He looks at me and asks…. “Do you know about Passover?” I start laughing. And he’s like…”Girl! I’m serious! I want to know about Passover! When does it start?” I say “It started last night. Tonight is the first day.” He asks, “How long does it last?” I tell him “eight nights.” He then asks me…”What’s this holiday about? Can you tell me? I want to learn.”
This guy was serious. I start to tell him that I really don’t know. I felt so bad saying this, and I even mentioned to this guy that my dad might kill me if he knew I was saying that I really didn’t know. He asks me….”Is it a secret? Or do you just not want to tell me?” For once in my life, I really wanted to teach someone something, and I honestly couldn’t because I really didn’t know.
As I sit here on the second night of Passover, studying my Haggadah, I hope I see this guy again. I’m pissed at all the years I sat at that dining room table doing the seder with my family while I giggled my way through it (because well, that’s what I do when shit gets all serious). Honestly, I want to see him again because I want him to ask me "Why is this night different from all other nights?" And I'll tell him that this night is different from all other nights because all we can eat is some soup with this ball that tastes like a sponge, some chopped liver that you would never eat on any other day of the year, some cardboard cracker that makes you constipated, some stuff called horseradish that will clear out your sinuses for days, and you’ll wash it all down with a nice swig of Manischewitz!
Sunday, April 01, 2007
I've learned that I'll never understand why it's ok for a black person to wear a button that says "I LOVE BEING BLACK!" but that it's not ok for a white person to wear a button that says "I LOVE BEING WHITE!"
I've learned that you can iron a shirt, but if you wear a coat for an hour, the shirt will be a wrinkled mess by the time you get to work.
I've learned that you know when it's starting to get warm when you see the fruit cart on the side of the road.
I've learned that it's not easy to find a pair of jeans that fit me correctly.
I've learned that a paper clip isn't going to hold up my hair.
I've learned that a bowl of chicken soup isn't going to keep me from being hungry.
I've learned that you should keep your own box of tampons at work because those machines are expensive.
I've learned that it sucks to be handicapped in NYC because people do not give up their seats on the train for ANYONE-- even if you are holding a cane!
I've learned that a cupcake two nights in a row is good for the soul.
I've learned that just because it looks like a hole in the wall restaurant-- it might actually be good!
I've learned that you need to slow down every once in a while because you might accidentally buy the wrong train ticket (twice as much money!) and there is nothing you can do about it!
I've learned that you need to actually bring a friend when going shopping because a sales person will tell you look fabulous no matter what.
I've learned that you need to budget yourself when you go shopping-- when you say you need ONE pair of sneakers, that should mean ONE PAIR. And when you say you need a black cardigan, it doesn't mean you need the white one too.
I've learned that if you have fun with your family, the two hour commute is worth it to see them for the day.
I've learned that people just have no train manners-- STOP YOUR DAMN WHISTLING!
Saturday, March 24, 2007
I've learned that you can never predict the amount of people there will be at the post office at any given moment.
I've learned that snow and ballet flats do not make a good combination.
I've learned that when a person truly appreciates a gift, they call you immediately to thank you for it.
I've learned that you shouldn't cut a night short while spending time with a friend just to go home to watch a television show they will replay the following night.
I've learned that shopping and holding 20 pairs of jeans on your arm will cause you to wake up with achy shoulders the next morning.
I've learned that as much as I love a coat, it's not going to be any less itchy on my neck then the last time I wore it.
I've learned that it's not a good idea to eat a cupcake after having a stomach ache all day.
I've learned that the Banana Republic spring sale is possibly the best thing ever.
I've learned that when you go to a restaurant often enough, the waiter/waitress will start to remember what you like to eat-- even down to the condiments you ask for.
I've learned that the cold weather makes me bitter, but all it has to do is just get a little warmer for me to say I love New York City.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
I've learned that sometimes it pays to get to a show early.
I've learned that it feels good to have a plan.
I've learned that people will never learn that they need to hold on to the pole while riding the train!
I've learned that the slightest bit of warm weather will bring out a cockroach. WHYYYYYYYY????
I've learned that cockroach will come out at 6:45am just as I'm waking up without glasses on but I will still know exactly what it is.
I've learned that all Charlie has to do is hear the way I call his name to know there is a cockroach in our apartment.
I've learned that many people think I have a "dream job"... but when it comes down to it, it's still just a job and there are just as many problems as any other job (if not more).
I've learned that everything you've always stood for in your life will somehow make you decide the route you need to take.
I've learned that I don't want to be elderly and still taking the subway train.
I've learned that all it takes is five minutes of walking in pumps to cause a blister.
I've learned that two very different people can have the same issues with friends and be able to console each other.
I've learned that I could just be Vice President of a company one day.
I've learned that in New York, 1-2 inches of snow actually means 3-5.
I've learned that you just need to keep smiling because things have a way of working themselves out.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
I've learned that underwear in the mail is the best unexpected present!
I've learned that there will always be cat hair on the ironing board.
I've learned that it won't hurt me to ride the subway home at 9:30pm.
I've learned that I can't wait for my husband to get off work anymore-- I need to start making my own plans.
I've learned that a rerun of Grey's Anatomy will piss me off.
I've learned that there are only so many days you can work a 10 hour shift with no break.
I've learned that I never know when concerts are coming to New York and I miss out on tickets to concerts that I'd really love to see.
I've learned that when it's below freezing, fashion doesn't matter-- wear the heavy coat!
I've learned that I need to start ordering two boxes of Samoas from the girl scout cookies!
I've learned that talking to your three best friends all in one day is a sign that you're going to have a great week!
Saturday, March 03, 2007
I've learned that you should NEVER forget your cell phone when you work 10 hour days.
I've learned that a job does not define who you are-- a job is JUST a job, it is not your life.
I've learned that even at your most trying times, there really are people looking out for you.
I've learned that it's easy to realize you miss a friend when you start talking to them again after 10 years.
I've learned that there is no reason to ask my husband what we need at the grocery store.
I've learned that you are happier when you have a good friend at work.
I've learned that washing dishes at the end of the day is the absolute last thing I want to do.
I've learned that my cat's meow is quite possibly the most wonderful sound ever.
I've learned that sometimes you have every intention of getting a cupcake, but once you get there, you just want a brownie!
I've learned when your husband doesn't sleep well, you don't sleep well either.
I've learned hearing the Thong Song in the morning on your iPod basically guarantees you a good day.
I've learned that Butterfingers© are the most expensive candy bars-- but you when you want one, you have to have one.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
I've learned that Wednesday night dinners at a diner have a way of making you feel better.
I've learned that a sick husband doesn't make a happy wife.
I've learned that you shouldn't wait five days to see a doctor when you are sick because you might actually have more than a cold! (echem- pneumonia!)
I've learned that just because Valentine's Day candy is 75% off doesn't mean you have to buy some.
I've learned that nothing is better than having a big floppy lap cat who sits on you every single night while you watch television.
I've learned that dropping a Hershey Kiss in a cup of coffee does not make a mocha (that's for you Kristen!).
I've learned that the snow in NYC gets nastier and nastier every year.
I've learned that you don't realize how much you miss your best friend until you see her.
Monday, February 19, 2007
I've learned that people cancel plans and there is nothing you can say or do to stop it from happening.
I've learned not to get too excited about an apartment until you actually see it-- pictures do nothing!
I've learned that all it takes is to see some Garbage Pail Kids to make me feel like I want to be 8 years old again.
I've learned that I'm not sure how I cleaned before Lysol Disinfecting Wipes were invented.
I've learned that it's basically impossible to find the perfect Valentine's Day card for your parents.
I've learned that there is one more thing I need to check before walking out the door in the morning so our cats don't ruin EVERYTHING, and that is making sure our closet is locked!
I've learned that sometimes you just have to clean the pasta sauce off the counter in the morning and not bitch about it.
I've learned that I really don't lose anything -- I just temporarily misplace things.
I've learned that it's not smart to have white gloves when you live in NYC.
I've learned that just because someone asks for a tip doesn't mean you have to give it to them!
I've learned that I will never get used to the snow, and I will never like it.
I've learned that rain boots might keep my feet dry, but they DO NOT keep them warm.
I've learned that some people just can't be pleased no matter how hard you try and no matter how good of an attitude you have.
I've learned that no job is secure.
I've learned that all a woman really wants is to be a mother and stay home with her children-- any woman who says they'd rather have a career over a family is completely full of shit.
I've learned that my cat is still trying after two years to get used to the other one.
I've learned that you should NEVER say..."my week can't get worse" because it most definitely can.
I've learned that when the airline says your flight is canceled, cry for about 10 minutes-- then after that, start making phone calls and DO NOT GIVE UP on getting the first one out the next morning.
I've learned that if you bitch enough about the airlines being completely out of control, they will give you two free round trip tickets to anywhere in the Continental U.S. just to SHUT YOU UP!!
I've learned that you must wear socks to the airport-- UGGS do not cut it when you have to take them off and place your bare feet on the freezing cold floor.
I've learned that a 70 year old woman with multiple surgeries to her face looks weird standing next to her husband who hasn't had any work done.
I've learned that it's never too late to make a change-- a positive change, a career change, a location change, a life change.
I've learned that sometimes you need your best friend to tell you that you just need to pack it all up and get the hell out-- and you need her husband to convince your husband the same thing.
I've learned that it's ok if you're the only one that sees the rainbow-- it just means that you are the one who has to get the other person to recognize that there is one.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
I've learned that even when the thai food menu says it isn't spicy, expect it to be spicy!
I've learned that it doesn't matter how late you are-- don't forget your hat when it's 10 degrees outside!
I've learned that you should wear jeans that make you feel good about your body-- if they don't fit, don't wear them!
I've learned that just because a person calls your their best friend doesn't mean you have to call them yours.
I've learned that the smörgåsbord of food you order at a diner will most definitely give you a stomach ache the next day.
I've learned that just when you really need copies of a major document for a major meeting, every single copy machine in the office will malfunction and NO ONE will want to help you fix them.
I've learned that you just can't wear sky-high heels everyday-- you have to give your back and feet a break.
I've learned that nothing will stop the constant creaking in our floor other than the weather getting warmer.
I've learned that everyone dreads the beginning of the week, but at the end of the week, people are astonished at how fast time flew by.
I've learned that sometimes your body just needs to fall asleep on the couch at 10pm on a friday-- especially when the cat is curled up right next to you.
Friday, February 09, 2007
I bought a pair of jeans at the Gap for $10. Now, in anyone's case, this would be a fabulous deal. But in my case, it's even more of a deal because I'm one of those girls in New York City that feels it's necessary to spend more than $100 on a pair of jeans. Oh yeah, just like that song, "Seven Jeans, True Religion… I say no, but they keep givin'." But the truth of the matter is- the only person who is givin' is me and my checkbook.
I used to think that buying a pair of jeans at the Levi's store for $40 was a big purchase. I've always been the one to look for deals on clothing, and believe me when I tell you…. the jeans I'm buying at Bloomingdale's are being bought on the clearance rack. I'm getting last season's Citizen's. And I don't care what you say… last season's jeans are a bargain!
So I saw the 1969 Gap jeans on the clearance rack, and they were cute, so I decided "hey, why not?" And as I stood in the dressing room, I realized…. Holy shit. I think they might actually fit BETTER than the jeans I'm purchasing at Saks for $100!!! I think I'm being robbed!
I figure this: today, I'm $90 richer and I still look fabulous.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
I've learned that just because you spend $50 on some earphones, doesn't exactly mean they will stay in your ears.
I've learned that the best day to splurge on a good restaurant is on payday!
I've learned that friendships change, people grow up, and you are the one who decides who you want to grow with.
I've learned that people who don't live in New York City are blinded by the fact that snow is the devil and we do NOT pray for it here-- in fact, we are all very happy we haven't had any accumulations this year!
I've learned not to wear my VANS when it's below 40 degrees outside.
I've learned it's ok to cut a night short just so you can get home to watch your favorite tv show.
I've learned that it's not about WHERE you go to lunch, but about the PEOPLE you are going with.
I've learned sometimes you just need to start a friendship over- forgive, never forget, but move on!
I've learned that I don't always have to go to Bloomingdales to find a great pair of jeans-- the Gap is perfectly fine (and so much cheaper!).
I've learned that guys don't realize you're married when you have gloves on your hands.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
I've learned that nothing will prepare you for 20 degree weather.
I've learned that you need to know your limit when it comes to chips and guacamole (oh and maybe those margaritas too).
I've learned that catching up with a friend is time well spent.
I've learned that I love hearing about single people's dating stories, but I'm so happy that I never have to go through it again.
I've learned that one of the best parts of life is when your husband is waiting up for you at 1am.
I've learned that the bus will never come on a morning when it's 8 degrees.
I've learned that sometimes you just need to wait for those boots because what will cost you $800 (ok, $400 with discount) will end up being $80 at a sample sale!
I've learned that you can be so angry with someone, but that overtime you will cool down and realize you want to be friends with that someone again (i love you, Kristen).
I've learned that nothing is what it seems on the outside-- and that sometimes you just have to let a person explain their actions.
I've learned that Papa John's Pizza is not as good in NYC as it is in Virginia Beach.
I've learned that it's perfectly ok not to have any plans for the weekend other than eating at specific restaurants!
Saturday, January 20, 2007
I've learned that sometimes a $17 cab ride is worth every single penny.
I've learned that you shouldn't complain about gaining five pounds when you are a size 2-- especially to a woman who has battled with her weight her entire life.
I've learned that even fleece is itchy! How is this possible?!?!
I've learned that sometimes you are the one who has to make the first move to rebuild a friendship-- and sometimes that's ok, but other times it's not.
I've learned that snow will eventually come to New York City-- maybe not in November, maybe not in December--- but it will come!
I've learned that one of the best things after a three day weekend is the four day work week following it.
I've learned that wet feet are unpleasant-- but wet feet wearing UGGS is even worse.
I've learned to keep a spare umbrella at the office.
I've learned that music has a way of knowing EXACTLY the way you feel about something.
I've learned that sometimes, just sometimes it's ok to take the phone away from your ear when you don't feel like listening to what the person is saying on the other end.
I've learned that no matter what time you leave home when you absolutely HAVE TO be at work at 9am-- you will not get there on time.
I've learned that the next apartment we live in, we will not be neighbors with a firehouse.
I've learned that if you get a paper cut from a redwell folder, you might as well just chop your finger off (that's how bad it hurts)!
I've learned that when you really need to vacuum, the vacuum will mysteriously break for no reason what-so-ever!
I've learned that receiving an unexpected card in the mail can make your day-- or even your week.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
I've learned that it's perfectly OK to cause a scene in a diner when it's absolutely necessary.
I've learned that no one likes Mondays- but it's even worse when it rains!
I've learned that the entire city of NY goes into a state of panic when there is the slightest bit of a gas smell-- ok, so who am I kidding, it was BAD!
I've learned that when you have a meeting with the CEO, it's a good idea to wear the clothing from head to toe.
I've learned that the bus is even more crowded when it's raining.
I've learned that just because I was able to do one hundred sit ups with no problem five years ago, does not mean I can just whip out one hundred sit ups now.
I've learned that even if you work for a high fashion company does not exactly mean you'll be able to tell the difference between your company's clothing and The Gap.
I've learned that just because you think a person knew you so well years ago, doesn't mean they know the person you are now.
I've learned that if your gut is telling you not to go out after work, listen to it because something might be needing your immediate attention at home.
I've learned that it's alright to check and recheck and recheck and recheck again to see if your gas is turned off after you've cooked.
I've learned that you don't realize how much you'd miss your animals until something happens that might endanger their lives.
I've learned that there has to be a balance between your professional and personal life.
I've learned that every relationship is something that needs to be worked on and if one side of the relationship stops caring, then you should too.
I've learned that as much as you tell the guy who makes your chinese food that you DO NOT want celery, expect to have to pick it out of your food anyways!
Saturday, January 06, 2007
I've learned that people actually enjoy setting off their car alarms in our neighborhood at any given time of the day (or night!).
I've learned that sometimes a $20 giftcard to Starbucks is better than a bottle of Dom Perignon.
I've learned that the look my husband gives small children means I'm not going to be able to pull off this whole "pregnant?!? maybe in 10 years" thing much longer.
I've learned that I can spot an addict from mile away because of the experiences I've had in my life.
I've learned that feeling left out is possibly the worst feeling in the world.
I've learned that I'm allergic to neosporin! (WHO THE HELL IS ALLERGIC TO NEOSPORIN?!)
I've learned that happiness is commuting to work with your husband.
I've learned that text messages are everyone's main form of communication and I AM OVER IT.
I've learned that the cupcake shop closing early one night can really make me have a breakdown (literally).
I've learned that it's absolutely possible to have a 70 degree day in NYC in JANUARY!!!!
I've learned that there is no point in putting labels on friendships- sometimes it's just a fact that you can be closer to someone you've only known for 3 years than to someone you've known for 12. (especially when geography is involved)
I've learned that sometimes you just need a little sparkle.