Tuesday, April 03, 2007


There is a whole lot of construction going on in the Atlantic Center subway station. It’s been going on forever. If you don't already know, Atlantic Center is the biggest subway station in Brooklyn. All the main trains run through and it just happens to run right underneath TARGET and well, lucky for me, Target is about 20 minutes from my apartment! Woohoo – time to stock up.

So I decided to go to Target today after work. I needed to get a few odds and ends. You know, the regular – mousse, conditioner, a frozen pizza, a bag of York Peppermint Patties (ok throw the soft batch Pepperidge Farm Cookies in the basket too!). So I’m walking up those never ending sets of stairs that I’m constantly walking up and down each day and I see this pretty odd character at the top of the stairs. Ok, so I’m being nice… he was a THUG. Seriously.

I’m minding my own business with my ipod pumping out some Norah Jones, hoping he thinks I’m listening to JayZ so we have something in common. And there I am waiting for the elevator—no one around—and I see him following behind me. I’m thinking to myself…”Shit! This is so not safe.” But whatever—I keep my cool. I live in NYC, you don’t think this hasn’t happened to me before? I try to ignore him as he taps me on my shoulder and asks me if the elevator is going up to the street, and I lie saying that I wasn’t sure— hoping I wouldn’t have to get in the elevator alone with this guy who is three times my size while I hold my Michael Kors bag, wearing my brand new Pumas and my $200 SEVEN jeans.

We get in the elevator alone – just the two of us and I think to myself—“What is the worst that can happen to me here? I might look small – but I can beat some ass if I need to!” There we are in the elevator while he tries to make small talk with me and I’m thinking…”Hey! Wait a minute. This guy isn’t too bad. He’s cool, right?” We’re laughing in the elevator hoping it’s taking us up to the street, the door opens and he’s like…”I smell FRESH AIR! This is a good sign!” And inside I start to feel bad that I was actually afraid of this guy. I start to walk away as we casually tell each other to have a great night and all of a sudden I hear him say…”Hey! Can I ask you a question?” I turn around, “Sure!” Thinking he’s gonna ask me if I “gotta boyfriend” or some shit. He looks at me and asks…. “Do you know about Passover?” I start laughing. And he’s like…”Girl! I’m serious! I want to know about Passover! When does it start?” I say “It started last night. Tonight is the first day.” He asks, “How long does it last?” I tell him “eight nights.” He then asks me…”What’s this holiday about? Can you tell me? I want to learn.”

This guy was serious. I start to tell him that I really don’t know. I felt so bad saying this, and I even mentioned to this guy that my dad might kill me if he knew I was saying that I really didn’t know. He asks me….”Is it a secret? Or do you just not want to tell me?” For once in my life, I really wanted to teach someone something, and I honestly couldn’t because I really didn’t know.

As I sit here on the second night of Passover, studying my Haggadah, I hope I see this guy again. I’m pissed at all the years I sat at that dining room table doing the seder with my family while I giggled my way through it (because well, that’s what I do when shit gets all serious). Honestly, I want to see him again because I want him to ask me "Why is this night different from all other nights?" And I'll tell him that this night is different from all other nights because all we can eat is some soup with this ball that tastes like a sponge, some chopped liver that you would never eat on any other day of the year, some cardboard cracker that makes you constipated, some stuff called horseradish that will clear out your sinuses for days, and you’ll wash it all down with a nice swig of Manischewitz!

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