Saturday, May 10, 2008

May 10, 2008


Yeah…. No. I’m not.

But that woman on the Q train thought I was.

And this is what I’ve learned this week. I’ve learned that when you dress in the morning, you must, and I will repeat, MUST look at yourself from every angle in a mirror.

With this being said, it doesn’t matter that you are a size 2. If you are at child-bearing age, you’re wearing some sweater that makes you look pregnant, and you have some big ass tah-tahs – there is no saying who will give up their seat on the train for you.

So listen to me people – look at yourself from EVERY. SINGLE. ANGLE. in the mirror before you walk out the door.


Saturday, May 03, 2008

May 3, 2008

I’ve learned that women must start saying no to the scrunchie.

I’ve learned that before you ladies start wearing gorgeous open toe shoes, you better make sure you’ve had a pedicure.

I’ve learned that one cat will give me no problem clipping his claws, but the other one is a real pain in the ass!

I’ve learned that sometimes it’s ok to skip lunch and have frozen yogurt with fruit instead (hey! At least it’s not ice cream!).

I’ve learned that when you’re not in a rush, sometimes it’s worth taking the local train.

I’ve learned that when you have a lot to look forward to, you forget about some of it!

I’ve learned that if I keep taking pilates with my instructor, my abs will most certainly be solid come June.

I’ve learned that men no longer open doors for women.

I’ve learned that if I can listen to high pitched beeping every five seconds for eight hours straight, I can handle anything!

I’ve learned that the weather forecast can change by the hour.

I’ve learned that there is something about receiving a care package from your friend’s mother that makes you feel loved.

I’ve learned that if you wear x-small underwear, you probably wear an x-small bikini bottom.

I’ve learned that there is nothing like a Tootsie Roll.