February 8, 2009

I’ve learned that the home improvements will never end.

I’ve learned that when the closet looks like it’s going to collapse, it’s only a matter of time before it does.

I’ve learned that the cat will never stop eating string.

I’ve learned that the freight elevator is there for my middle of the day breakdown.

I’ve learned there is something comforting about the fact that my best friend doesn’t have a job and she can answer the phone in the middle of the day while I’m in the freight elevator.

I’ve learned that too much cinnamon and not enough egg while cooking French toast will cause a lot of smoke.

I’ve learned that the smoke alarm REALLY works!

I’ve learned that everyone is on edge right now because of the economy and if you say you aren’t, YOU ARE LYING.

I’ve learned that you can teach a cat commands like you can teach a dog.

I’ve learned that the water in the shower can never be too hot.

I’ve learned that when it’s past 9pm, there is NO WAY I will stay up through the whole movie.

I’ve learned that nothing is better than eating Entenmann’s right out of the box.

September 9, 2008

I’ve learned that painting takes three times longer than you think it does.

I’ve learned that even though you’re only moving four blocks away, it’s impossible to move without a vehicle.

I’ve learned that unless you actually live in NYC, you will never appreciate what it’s like to own a 900 square foot apartment (it’s seriously huge!).

I’ve learned that there is no soap at Home Depot.

I’ve learned that there is nothing better than Italian cookies.

I’ve learned that it’s pretty scary to choke on a carrot!

I’ve learned that no television means catching up on Super Mario.

I’ve learned that young cats are more resilient to change.

I’ve learned that sometimes you have to just let things go.

I’ve learned that the cat will never stop ruining clothing or shoes or anything else he can chew on!

I’ve learned that people just don’t know when to get off their cell phone.

I've learned that it's fun to be a tourist when a visitor comes.

I've learned that I am going to buy more tickets to the Mets games.

I've learned that a cupcake isn't a cupcake unless there's a candle in it.

I’ve learned to love another website as much as I love ebay and it’s called etsy!

July 20, 2008

I’ve learned that once you figure out the difference between a “fun” friend and a “true” friend, your view on friendships change for the better.

I’ve learned that renovations make a huge difference.

I’ve learned that when your best friend is due to have a baby in two days, you better not forget your phone.

I’ve learned that while most calls at 1am are usually bad news, it is possible for the news to be good!

I’ve learned that sometimes you need to give someone a chance to apologize.

I’ve learned that bosses get sick too.

I’ve learned that it’s ok to have ice cream on Monday, coconut crème pie on Tuesday, hot fudge sundae on Wednesday, sorbet on Thursday and nothing to eat for dinner on Friday.

I’ve learned that H&M has the best dresses – and they are cheap.

I’ve learned it’s impossible to eat when it’s 95 degrees outside and there is no air conditioner in the restaurant.

I’ve learned that I will never (I repeat, NEVER) again see a big movie opening weekend in NYC.

I’ve learned that it’s absolutely possible to form new friendships even as an adult and that building those relationships will make you a better person.

I’ve learned that I’ve spend almost 15 years without Super Mario and oh, how I’ve missed him!

July 8, 2008

I’ve learned that it’s quite possible to have the busiest month in the history of busiest months and there really isn’t time to write!

I’ve learned that when you get word at 11pm that your best friend had a baby, it’s basically impossible to get any sleep.

I’ve learned that it will always rain when I’ve waited six weeks to get an appointment to get my hair done.

I’ve learned that from now on I will do everything in my power to not check luggage on a plane.

I’ve learned that it’s ok to be obsessed with a song that was last summer’s hit.

I’ve learned that your air conditioner will break on a day when it’s 95 degrees outside and you’re four weeks away from moving to a different apartment.

I’ve learned that getting a cable box replaced takes two weeks in NYC.

I’ve learned that if you need assistance, you cannot show up ONE MINUTE after Time Warner Cable closes at night.

I’ve learned that when they say they will get security, you should believe them.

I’ve learned that you must turn off your cell phone when you’re taking a pilates class.

I’ve learned that hard work pays off when the economy is bad.

I’ve learned that buying an apartment in NYC is the longest process imaginable.

I’ve learned that a $10 trip to Target will wind up costing me $50.

I’ve learned that sugaring up a ten and a twelve year old at 10pm probably isn’t the best idea.

I’ve learned that as much as two children want to do something, if it involves standing in line for two hours, they will complain the entire time.

I’ve learned that children do not like a lot of stuff on their sundaes.

I’ve learned that children think Mexican Food consists of a taco with only meat.

I’ve learned that you should only take TUMS when it’s absolutely, 100% positively necessary.

I’ve learned that when you have a friend who lives in Israel, you’re truly sad when they leave after a visit with you because you really aren’t sure when you’ll see them again.

I’ve learned that when you’re talking about getting pregnant, you are disappointed when you get your period even if you aren’t really trying to get pregnant.

I’ve learned that even though he won’t complain…. He REALLY does not want to watch The Joy Luck Club.

June 1st, 2008

I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how handsome you are, you look like an idiot in a red tie!

I’ve learned that rain is better with a colorful umbrella.

I’ve learned that an evening spent eating soup and catching up on TV is sometimes better than having plans.

I’ve learned that I’m not the only one who enjoys watching rats on the subway tracks.

I’ve learned that real men read Martha Stewart Living.

I’ve learned that when it’s your body, sometimes you know better than a doctor.

I’ve learned that I might be a child of the 70’s because I know how to tie-dye!

I’ve learned that sometimes you just need to throw that hair up in a ponytail.

I’ve learned that when traveling, my suitcase will ALWAYS be the last suitcase on the baggage claim.

I’ve learned that when I have weekend vacation plans that get canceled, all my best friends are super quick to ask if I’ll come visit them instead. (awwwww.)

I’ve learned that it’s not smart to drink two cups of coffee, eat three bowls of raisin bran and drink a glass of Metamucil twenty-four hours before you’re scheduled to board a flight.

I’ve learned sometimes a photographer (ech-em husband) should not be messing with settings on your own camera when you’re about to take a trip without him!

I’ve learned that planes really do leave on time.

I’ve learned that sometimes it takes going over the Manhattan Bridge in a taxi at midnight to realize I live in the best place in the world.

May 10, 2008

Pregnant?

Yeah…. No. I’m not.

But that woman on the Q train thought I was.

And this is what I’ve learned this week. I’ve learned that when you dress in the morning, you must, and I will repeat, MUST look at yourself from every angle in a mirror.

With this being said, it doesn’t matter that you are a size 2. If you are at child-bearing age, you’re wearing some sweater that makes you look pregnant, and you have some big ass tah-tahs – there is no saying who will give up their seat on the train for you.

So listen to me people – look at yourself from EVERY. SINGLE. ANGLE. in the mirror before you walk out the door.

Trust.

May 3, 2008

I’ve learned that women must start saying no to the scrunchie.

I’ve learned that before you ladies start wearing gorgeous open toe shoes, you better make sure you’ve had a pedicure.

I’ve learned that one cat will give me no problem clipping his claws, but the other one is a real pain in the ass!

I’ve learned that sometimes it’s ok to skip lunch and have frozen yogurt with fruit instead (hey! At least it’s not ice cream!).

I’ve learned that when you’re not in a rush, sometimes it’s worth taking the local train.

I’ve learned that when you have a lot to look forward to, you forget about some of it!

I’ve learned that if I keep taking pilates with my instructor, my abs will most certainly be solid come June.

I’ve learned that men no longer open doors for women.

I’ve learned that if I can listen to high pitched beeping every five seconds for eight hours straight, I can handle anything!

I’ve learned that the weather forecast can change by the hour.

I’ve learned that there is something about receiving a care package from your friend’s mother that makes you feel loved.

I’ve learned that if you wear x-small underwear, you probably wear an x-small bikini bottom.

I’ve learned that there is nothing like a Tootsie Roll.

April 13, 2008

I’ve learned that a woman preaching about Jesus is not the first thing I want to listen to on the subway in the morning.

I’ve learned that when my cat is acting erratic, there is a cockroach in the apartment.

I’ve learned that sometimes it’s ok to be vain.

I’ve learned that a flea market is the best place to find some cute vintage stickers.

I’ve learned that there is a reason why we didn’t buy that apartment eighteen months ago.

I’ve learned that just because it’s free doesn’t mean you need it.

I’ve learned that accepting the offer at my job is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life.

I’ve learned that if you want to get your stomach muscles in tip-top shape, take some pilates classes.

I’ve learned that my husband and I make the best team of creating baby shower invitations.

I’ve learned that sometimes you just have to say….”I don’t care if we’ve been there already. I want to go there again!”

I’ve learned that there are so many exciting things about to happen in our lives and I can’t wait!

April 5, 2008

I enjoy writing when I’m happy. That’s just me. Who wants to hear this is wrong…. And that is wrong…. Oh, and this is wrong too? The past couple of months have been tough. I went from having 3 healthy grandparents just nine months ago to now having one pass away, one in complete confusion and not remember anything that happened to him in the last 30 seconds and one diagnosed with lung cancer. Needless to say, it’s been a hard ten weeks.

Things are looking up and I am back to writing again……

Good Things I’ve Learned Over the Past Ten Weeks:

I’ve learned that if it rains hard enough outside, it will be raining inside of that subway station.

I’ve learned that you should not wear UGGS if there is any change of snow accumulation.

I’ve learned that sometimes you will get a nice bus driver.

I’ve learned that sending Valentine’s Day packages is something I enjoy doing and if someone can’t have the decency to call and say “THANK YOU”, they aren’t getting one next year.

I’ve learned that I enjoy commuting to work with my husband.

I’ve learned that my cat is deathly afraid of the ironing board, but that he doesn’t mind laying on it any chance he gets.

I’ve learned that it’s fun having straight hair when I haven’t done it in a while.

I’ve learned that I will never understand why an adult puts their hands in their mouth.

I’ve learned that contacts don’t work in tired eyes.

I’ve learned that when J.Crew says green PATENT belt, it’s really going to be shiny!

I’ve learned that I will never again sell a game system on ebay!

I’ve learned that eighteen year olds look me up and down like I am their age.

I’ve learned that my bra cup size is bigger than a yarmulke.

I’ve learned that there is nothing like shopping with someone else’s money.

I’ve learned that if it’s not nailed to the ground, it can be sold on ebay.

I’ve learned that it’s nice to have an old friend to remind you of your life ten years ago when all you talked about is moving to New York City.

I’ve learned that you should NEVER order underwear online because you might just end up returning 14 pairs!

I’ve learned that your life is all about your attitude towards the things surrounding it!

January 20, 2008

I’ve learned that there is no way in hell you will get a cab in the Village at 1am on a Saturday night.

I’ve learned that guys at a gay bar are only talking to me to get to the guy I am there with and too bad for them that guy IS MY HUSBAND!

I’ve learned that, in my eyes, there is no longer a use for the Salvation Army; I will get rid of MY stuff on EBAY!

I’ve learned that even as an adult, it’s nice to know you can still count on your dad.

I’ve learned that you should always keep receipts because when you wear an item once and it doesn’t fit comfortably, back to the store it goes.

I’ve learned that good credit pays off and when you get married, you should know exactly what you’re getting yourself into financially.

I’ve learned that I found someone that saves money even better than I do, and I married him!

I’ve learned that when that foot is STILL causing pain after six months, it doesn’t matter how scared you are, it’s time to get a cortizone injection.

I’ve learned that there is a such thing as a miracle and it’s called CORTIZONE!

I’ve learned that some jeans look good when they are tighter and some jeans do not.

I’ve learned that you REALLY. DO. NOT. need that amazing chocolate brownie sundae with vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup.

I’ve learned that you should never ever ever underestimate the importance of a correctly fitted bra!

January 12, 2008

I’ve learned that they give you that juror certificate for a reason and you better make sure you keep it!

I’ve learned that even though we pay the government a shitload of taxes, they do not provide a stamp on return mail.

I’ve learned that my cat enjoys being serenaded.

I’ve learned that the faster we get a bigger apartment, the faster I get another cat – let the real estate search begin!

I’ve learned that Rock & Republic jeans sell really fast on ebay.

I’ve learned that hot chicken soup tastes better when crunching on cold, raw carrots.

I’ve learned that it’s hot as hell in our apartment when it’s 65 degrees in January.

I’ve learned that I need to keep the top three buttons of a shirt open.

I’ve learned that there is nothing like CO Bigelow products.

I’ve learned that having one drink causes me to get a lazy eye just like my mom.

I’ve learned that you need to tell someone exactly how you feel otherwise they will never know when you feel left out.

I’ve learned that pseudo friends don’t have to remain pseudo for more than three years.

I’ve learned that you should use the bathroom even when you don’t really think you need to because you never know when you’ll be able to use one again.

I’ve learned that there is nothing like the sound of a chicken!

January 1st, 2008

*Things I've Learned During the Last Month of 2007!

I've learned that even though I love all animals, I am most definitely a cat person.

I've learned that when your gloves have holes in them, it's time to get some new ones.

I've learned that it's perfectly ok to return a gift if it means you will get something you like better.

I've learned that it's possible to be irritable for no reason at all.

I've learned that I might as well work for Konica Minolta since reading the manual is better training than the technicians have.

I've learned that I do not have a bachelor's degree in computer science; therefore, I should not be reformatting our university's hard drive that consists of six years of legal files.

I've learned that I will do everything in my power to stay away from Queen's Plaza!

I've learned that when weathermen say it's going to rain in the winter, expect it to snow instead.

I've learned that there comes a time where you need to just get rid of clothing you haven't worn in years.

I've learned that there are some people you just can't forgive so easily.

I've learned that if my nose expects to make it through the winter, I'm going to have to invest in a humidifier.

I've learned that just because my cat meows at me doesn't mean he wants to sit on my lap.

I've learned that the workers at the Home Depot in Brooklyn are the biggest bunch of unhelpful people.

I've learned that the dress might be perfect for the occasion, but if the bra isn't comfortable underneath it, you need to wear a different dress.

I've learned that if you know a Jewish NYC couple getting married, you should do everything in your power to get invited to their wedding.

I've learned that it's the strangest thing when you don't know your parents address without having to look it up.

I've learned that the reason that homeless man isn't getting any money is because he's blowing snot rockets when all he has to do is go inside of the Wendy's he's sitting in front of to grab himself a damn napkin!

I've learned that I might not be pregnant at the same time as all my friends, but it only means that when I'm pregnant, everyone has already gone through it and I can ask for advice.

I've learned that if jeans are uncomfortable before walking out of the house, it doesn't mean they are going to get any more comfortable two hours later.

I've learned that not subscribing to PEOPLE magazine means I will read more books.

I've learned that straightening the hair may take 30 minutes, but I get to enjoy it for 3 days!

I've learned that even though NYC is the fashion capital of the world, sometimes shopping is just better when you travel out of the city.

I've learned that it's better to order too much food and take it home than not having enough and having to order more.

I've learned that I've had enough of listening to x-mas songs to last me a whole year!

I've learned that you shouldn't put too many books on an IKEA bookshelf.

I've learned that it's a good idea to disguise the fact that you put too many books on that bookshelf before your husband gets home and wonders what the hell you were thinking.

I've learned that everyone who lives in NYC wears black, and if you don't wear black, we know you are a tourist.

I've learned that sometimes you have to make a wise decision to leave the cats at home in fear that you might have to pull tinsel out of your cat's ass.

I've learned that Christmas is twice as much fun when all you care about is the fudge sitting up on the kitchen counter.

I've learned that the best gift is a dancing robot you can bring to work to put on your desk.

I've learned that you should never let three men chose the movie.

I've learned that when your husband is sick from a restaurant, it's a good idea to ask him exactly what restaurant he ate in so you don't eat at the same place two days later.

I've learned that having a car for a month isn't as bad as I thought it would be, and I will actually miss the freedom of being able to drive down the street for a piece of cake.

I've learned that even though you're sad that the month of fun is over, you are excited to get back into the swing of things.

I've learned that just because I live in New York City doesn't mean I'll spend New Years celebrating in Times Square and in fact, I am just as happy (if not MORE happy) watching the ball drop ON TELEVISION from the comfort and warmth of our Brooklyn apartment.

November 18, 2007

I’ve learned that when you eat, you put a napkin on your lap for a reason!

I’ve learned that the smell of a rotten pumpkin seeping through carpet is like nothing you’ve ever smelled and it will take an entire box of baking soda to absorb the stench.

I’ve learned that you get what you pay for and that cheap tights will assure you a day of the crotch at your knees starting at 9am!

I’ve learned that sensitive skin means that your wedding rings overtime will create a rash on your finger.

I’ve learned that nothing is more annoying than a woman taking the elevator to the second floor – TO WORK OUT AT A GYM!

I’ve learned it’s possible to have flights that leave on time – it’s called AIRTRAN!

I’ve learned that I miss my magazines when I don’t receive them in the mail.

I’ve learned that just when my dad decides to get wireless internet, I will end up not bringing my laptop.

I’ve learned that finding out your best friend is pregnant is almost as good as finding out that you, yourself are pregnant.

I’ve learned that my digital camera will break four hours before my 10-year high school reunion.

I’ve learned that seeing people I haven’t seen in years makes me wonder why I lost touch with the people in the first place.

I’ve learned that there is something amazing about friendships when the girls really know your mom.

I’ve learned that there is a reason why someone becomes your best friend.

I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how great a coat fits, you should not purchase it in hot pink.

I’ve learned that only in NYC does it take a half hour to go two miles.

I’ve learned that I absolutely LOVE that I have a friend who I have steady plans with each week, and I miss her when we have to skip a week because of a holiday.

I’ve learned that I now know my preferred method of shipping packages – DHL!!!

I’ve learned that washing black tights will cause the water to turn a very dark shade of gray.

I’ve learned that as much as I want a dog, taking care of my neighbor’s dog for three weeks shows me that we will basically have a small zoo in our apartment.

November 4, 2007

I’ve learned that some people will never understand that they need to hold on to the pole on the train.

I’ve learned that brand new black Uggs will turn your feet BLACK!

I’ve learned that not all morning meetings require coffee because sometimes people just bring their own.

I’ve learned that you need to ask if there will be celery in the food.

I’ve learned that an MRI can spot two fractures when your doctor thought there was really only one.

I’ve learned that a $1 sale at the baked goods booth at the farmer’s market does not mean I need to purchase three things.

I’ve learned that just because all the pumpkins are $10, it doesn’t mean I need to buy the biggest one because that only means I’ll have to pay $15 to hail a taxi to take me home!

I’ve learned that I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to move from NYC because I finally found the perfect hair stylist.

I’ve learned that ordering clothing from Nordstoms only means that by the time my “fall coat” actually arrives, it will already be freezing cold outside.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t have your heart set on eating a specific restaurant because by the time you get there the place will be PACKED and you’ll be so hungry that you don’t care what you eat.

I’ve learned that it’s better to sweep hardwood floors than to vacuum them.

I’ve learned that there is no reason to keep that empty pot if you don’t plan on buying a plant to go in it.

I’ve learned that when you really truly want something to happen, you can make it happen – all you have to do is try!

I’ve learned that there is nothing better than clean sheets and clean towels.

October 28, 2007

I’ve learned that even the “most comfortable shoes” aren’t going to help a fractured foot.

I’ve learned that causing a commotion in an MRI and Diagnostic Center will cause my doctor to make a phone call.

I’ve learned that when they tell you not to fall asleep during an MRI, they really do mean it.

I’ve learned that I can skip the candy bar at the drug store if I only think of the candy corns waiting for me at home.

I’ve learned that a flu shot is not that bad!

I’ve learned that some people just don’t like Justin Timberlake (wha?).

I’ve learned that carrying one bag on your commute is better than carrying two.

I’ve learned that the friend who currently knows me best is a girl who has never even heard my voice.

I’ve learned that just when you think you get a comfortable seat on the train where you can read your book, here comes a guy who feels it’s necessary to sit right down next to you when there are 24 other seats…. And he then proceeds to pull out a NEWSPAPER!

I’ve learned that I not only have the best doctors in NYC, I also have the best tailor.

I’ve learned that when you’re fully prepared for rain, it won’t rain and then you’re left looking like an idiot in big-ass rain boots.

I’ve learned that you can eat a restaurant more than 50 times before, but it doesn’t guarantee that you won’t get food poisoning.

I’ve learned that I’m not sure it’s a good thing when my husband says “It’s good to have you back to normal”.

I’ve learned that all it takes is a 24-hour bout of food poisoning to make you drop that extra three pounds, but I’m not really sure it was worth it!

October 21, 2007

I’ve learned that even when you know someone is going to be mad, you need to tell them how you feel.

I’ve learned that higher waisted jeans are better.

I’ve learned that cat love new toys.

I’ve learned that sometimes you just get used to being alone even though you don’t like it.

I’ve learned that the easiest way to put on a few pounds is to cut out your main form of exercise.

I’ve learned that a doctor can easily misdiagnose an issue if you don’t tell him your exact symptoms.

I’ve learned that late birthday presents are the best.

I’ve learned that sometimes I just don’t feel like talking to ANYONE.

I’ve learned that you can become close friends with someone without ever hearing their voice.

I’ve learned that you need to read the ebay description closely.

I’ve learned that sizes are nothing but a number and it’s better to wear clothing you feel good in than squeezing into clothing that just does not fit.

I’ve learned that at this point, I will wear anything that allows me to walk comfortably and if that means having to buy crocs, then SO BE IT!

I’ve learned that even when the weather is 75 degrees and sunny, lazy Sundays are sometimes better spent on the couch catching up on television shows.

October 7, 2007

I've learned that my style might be safe, but at least I'm not wearing a flower sundress with brown suede knee high boots looking like an idiot!

I've learned that I will use any excuse to get out of the office when it's 75 degrees and sunny.

I've learned that a purse can tie a whole outfit together.

I've learned that when you have a good job everyone around you will wonder why you're so happy.

I've learned that if the foot isn't getting better, you need to take the matter into your own hands and go to an Orthopedist.

I've learned sometimes you can squeeze into some pants, but if they are white, you might as well forget about wearing them.

I've learned that chicken noodle soup and mini carrots might possibly be the best lunch ever.

I've learned that you should always keep some candy in your purse.

I've learned that you should always recheck yourself in the mirror before heading outside to go to work.

I've learned that a person can't always be fashionable, there has to be off days too.

I've learned that when you don't expect much, you won't be disappointed.

I've learned that some things should not be done over text messages.

I've learned that birthdays don't always have to be perfect to be special.

I've learned that if you pick any day to be 30 minutes late to a reservation at TAO, it might as well be your birthday.

I've learned that pearls might actually be a women's best friend and that you should leave it up to your mom (aka Jewelry Queen) to get you 9mm pearl earrings!

I've learned that a flea market in Louisville, Kentucky isn't worth going to and you should opt for the zoo instead.

I've learned that there is nothing better than hanging out with your cool 91-year-old grandma making faces at a camera.

I've learned that people don't put a password on their wireless internet in Kentucky.

I've learned that sleeping with cupcakes is absolutely possible.

I've learned that a friend really knows you when instead of getting you a gift, she makes a donation to the ASPCA in your name.

I've learned that some girls can be so overcome with jealousy that it will overtake their life when all they need to do is be happy with what they have instead of harping on what they don't.

I've learned that it's possible to have two separate colds in a one-week period.

I've learned that the last thing I want to see at 9am in the morning right in front of my office building is a man in biker shorts.

September 23, 2007

I’ve learned that as soon as the temperatures drop just 10 degrees, people think it’s time to wear a scarf.

I’ve learned that running across the platform to catch a train is pointless because doors will only close in my face.

I’ve learned that Birkenstocks are said to be the perfect shoes for a hurt foot, so I’m one step closer to healed.

I’ve learned that I get more compliments about the way I look from strangers than I do from my husband.

I’ve learned that there is nothing more annoying than someone talking on a cell phone in the waiting room of a doctor’s office!

I’ve learned that not being able to wear heels for a month means I have to get a whole new birthday outfit to go out to dinner and I’m not complaining!

I’ve learned that men do not get up out of a seat on a train for a pregnant woman or a screaming baby; it’s ALWAYS a woman who gets up.

I’ve learned that when your Spanish friend is ordering dinner for you at a Spanish restaurant, you have to make it clear to her exactly what you want!

I’ve learned that finding black fur in my orange cat’s mouth means I will find a good scratch on his face from that black cat later.

I’ve learned that when you can’t find a simple silver clutch purse, you need to ask your friend where to go because she will definitely think of a place you haven’t thought of and you will find that purse for $8!

I’ve learned that after four years of living here, I know the best way to get home, NOT the taxi driver!

September 15, 2007

I've learned that I'm not sure how I lived four years without cable television.

I've learned that some people THINK they know who you are, but they don't know you even the slightest bit.

I've learned that I'm not the only one who thinks their cat is their soul mate.

I've learned that ballet flats don't help a hurt foot.

I've learned that some women have not discovered the nude color bra to wear under a white t-shirt.

I've learned that some people just have horrible tattoos.

I've learned that it's possible to accumulate ten pairs of shoes at my office.

I've learned that even when your hair looks great down and curly, sometimes you're just in the mood for a ponytail.

I've learned that everything looks better with a belt.

I've learned that black is dressy whether you spend $20 on the shirt or $50.

I've learned when the trains are deserted, it probably means it's a Jewish holiday.

I've learned that there's something to be said about splurging on expensive perfume and not feeling guilty about it.

I've learned that my new favorite person is Perez Hilton (and no, that's not a typo!).

I've learned that speakerphones on cell phones do not work when there are ten people talking.

September 8, 2007

I’ve learned that having a hurt foot really sucks when your main form of travel is walking.

I’ve learned that vigorously shaking a phone after dropping it in a glass of water really might make it come back to life no matter what your husband might think.

I’ve learned that the “like it” size at Coldstone is more than enough.

I’ve learned that when it’s 85 degrees outside, wear a dress!

I’ve learned that some people will just never understand unless you flat out tell them.

I’ve learned that there is nothing like a bright blue shirt.

I’ve learned that after ten days of foot pain, it’s time to start wearing flats.

I’ve learned that sometimes it’s just better to be alone.

I’ve learned that the only way your parents will change their cell phone provider is if you tell them you will stop calling.

I’ve learned that having too much time on your hands does not mean you need to spend more money.

I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter what time you get to Target…. It’s gonna be PACKED!

I’ve learned that when I have a little more weight on me, the black guys are mesmerized, and they don’t try to hide it even while I’m holding my husband’s hand.

I’ve learned that when you fall asleep on the couch at 7:30pm, it means your body needs it.

I’ve learned that when you talk to a friend on the phone for over two hours, it probably means you should talk more often.

I’ve learned that just because someone is supposed to be planning a huge event, doesn’t necessarily mean they are, and when you find out they aren’t, you and the rest of the 1997 Princess Anne population are gonna be real pissed.

I’ve learned that it’s ok to re-read a book even if it’s a book you read when you were eleven years old.

I’ve learned that, yes, it is necessary to purchase six pairs of shoes in a three-week period.