I've learned that happiness is having bagels delivered right to your door.

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I've learned that sometimes a cat loves one person better than another.

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I've learned there is nothing like the New York City skyline even if you have seen it hundreds of times before.

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I've learned that no sign is off limits in New York City.

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May 31, 2009

I’ve learned there is nothing like forgotten leftovers from two days ago!

I’ve learned that even a homeless man can spot a beautiful woman.

I’ve learned that a picture frame does wonders.

I’ve learned that when a black sock and a brown sock are matched together, it’s easy to remember who did the laundry.

I’ve learned that some people really notice when you’ve been working out.

I’ve learned that I really don’t drink enough water.

I’ve learned that spin class twice a week will make you unable to walk properly for days.

I’ve learned that when people groan when a fill-in gym instructor walks in a class, you need to make your way out that door for your own workout!

I’ve learned that when you’re mom is singing “I kissed a girl… and I liked it” something just isn’t right in the world.

I’ve learned that a nice day outside means no line during lunch at the post office!

I’ve learned that all I need to do is turn my head right or left and I am absolutely surrounded by pregnant women.

I’ve learned that even though my dad hopes for it, I will never be republican.

I’ve learned that sometimes you just need to hail a cab and not wait for the bus.

I’ve learned that if you see a HUGE celebrity and the first picture doesn’t come out, it’s perfectly ok to ask to take another one!

I’ve learned that some people are just absolutely ignorant and this is the world we live in.

I’ve learned that it’s absolutely possible to be best friends with someone you have never met face to face.

I’ve learned that every visit with a friend and every trip away involves rain!

I’ve learned that nothing compares to good produce.

I’ve learned that when you aren’t comfortable, it’s ok to get yourself out of the situation.

I’ve learned that people will come out to Brooklyn for a party!

I’ve learned that weekends go by way too fast!

I’ve learned that the real joy in life is just laying in bed on a Sunday with my husband and my cats.

March 29, 2009

I’ve learned that many people just don’t feel it’s necessary to wash their hands after using the toilet.

I’ve learned that somehow heels can be more comfortable than a pair of flats.

I’ve learned that one of the main reasons I love our neighborhood is because of people I see on a regular basis.

I’ve learned that telling me to call 15 minutes prior or 15 minutes after high call volume WITHOUT telling me what times the “high call volume” times are is of NO HELP TO ME!

I’ve learned that there is a such thing as padded biker shorts and my ass is going to very thankful for them.

I’ve learned that you should never leave a pushpin on the kitchen counter.

I’ve learned that two years is the maximum life of a cell phone when you use it every single day.

I’ve learned that one day of no cell phone use isn’t going to kill me.

I’ve learned that sometimes you just need to skip the gym, eat some ice cream and get a manicure instead!

March 22, 2009

I’ve learned that when you want a Cadbury Crème Egg, you won’t be able to find one.

I’ve learned that even though my husband knows how well I understand the NYC subway lines, he will always question me.

I’ve learned that a dermatologist doesn’t want to hear about hormonal issues.

I’ve learned that when I’m skipping every song on my ipod, it means I need new music.

I’ve learned that sometimes standing in line isn’t worth it.

I’ve learned that nothing beats last minute plans during the week.

I’ve learned that the meaning of perfect advertising is when you’re on your way home and you suddenly see a movie poster across the street from a movie theater and all of a sudden you are no longer on the way home, but you’re crossing the street to buy movie tickets.

I’ve learned that people lose that one glove on the sidewalk by not paying attention to what is falling out of their bag.

I’ve learned that “America DOES NOT Have Talent.”

I’ve learned that black nail polish makes an absolute mess when you are trying to take it off.

I’ve learned that as long as I’m not seeing any cockroaches, the RIDDEXplus stays in that outlet!

I’ve learned that you gotta love a man who will clean the bathroom.

March 15, 2009

I’ve learned that a snow day is a like a sick day but without the sick.

I’ve learned that when you show up at the gym and most of the people in the class are men twice your size, the class is not for you.

I’ve learned that sometimes you can have a day where you’re happy for no real reason.

I’ve learned that a package can get lost going from one post office to another.

I’ve learned that even if you are just sending a package to a PO Box, you must track and insure that package.

I’ve learned that just because you took ballet for two years when you were seven years old doesn’t mean you’ll be able to take a ballet class and know what you’re doing 20 years later.

I’ve learned that if you don’t know me, you shouldn’t be calling me “honey” unless you are an elderly woman over the age of 80.

I’ve learned that there is such a thing as a bad hair WEEK.

I’ve learned that during a recession, a 30% off coupon to the Gap stores will mean that every single Old Navy, Banana Republic and Gap will be in complete chaos!

I’ve learned that (apparently) every guy has punched at least one person in his life even the ones that are too scared to kill a land crab in a Costa Rica bathroom.

I’ve learned that you could actually steal something from Best Buy because those security officers at the front of the store do not check those receipts!

I’ve learned that it costs a fortune to frame a picture.

I’ve learned that orange male cats are the best, but who am I kidding – I learned that LONG ago!

March 1, 2009

I’ve learned that even when it’s only an emergency fire drill, the building will never get it right.

I’ve learned that you never realize how much you missed hot water in the shower.

I’ve learned that as much as you don’t want to work out, you’ll feel much better when you do.

I’ve learned that the new grocery store near the office (Shoprite) has cheap groceries!

I’ve learned that you get dizzy when it’s 3pm and you haven’t yet eaten.

I’ve learned that there are friends you can talk to about serious things, and some you can’t.

I’ve learned that the one time you make lunch plans and you are ready to head out the door in ten minutes, your boss will ask you to do something.

I’ve learned that I’ll never understand why there are half eaten chicken wings on the street and not in the garbage.

I’ve learned that even teenage girls sing on the bus to music I listened to when I was their age.

I’ve learned that Swedish Fish have the word SWEDISH on them!

I’ve learned that there is NO POINT in going to Circuit City’s liquidation sale because you won’t find anything but junk.

I’ve learned that you should ALWAYS read the fine print on the back of gift cards – it doesn’t matter that the front of the card says it’s expired – it’s THE CARD that expires, NOT the funds!

I’ve learned that a windy day in NYC will cause a plastic bag to get stuck in a tree four flights up!

I’ve learned that sometimes, no matter how much he meows, he needs to be locked out of the room.

February 22, 2009

I’ve learned that you will see spit on a NYC sidewalk anywhere you look.

I’ve learned that there are people who actually buy stuffed animals for $93!

I’ve learned that it’s always nice to go away on weekend getaways, but sometimes it’s nice to just save the money and stay in the city.

I’ve learned that I’m not the only one who forgets their umbrella.

I’ve learned that you should invest in some nice workout pants because you never want the crotch of your pants to look funky.

I’ve learned that when your commute in the morning starts out bad, it pretty much sets the tone for the entire day.

I’ve learned that there needs to be absolutely NO moisture in the air if you plan on wearing your hair straight.

I’ve learned books are usually better than the movie.

I’ve learned that if you want to go to Target on the weekend, it’s best to go at 10am on Saturday morning.

I’ve learned that sometimes you just want a salad with macaroni and cheese for dinner.

I’ve learned that it’s ok to skip the dessert.

I’ve learned that my cats are getting me ready for having a child when I come home to shit on the floor and puke on the carpet.

There are flowers that don’t die within a couple of days and they are called craspedias (look it up!).

I’ve learned that it takes an overflowing toilet (even after you’ve told him many times) that you cannot flush paper towels!

I've learned you can scrimp on some home products, but a plunger is NOT one of those things.

February 15, 2009

I’ve learned that it’s now 50¢ to play an arcade video game and the economy is even taking its toll on kids!

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t take THAT train when you know it is always crowded.

I’ve learned that some people don’t realize they are sticking their dirty hands in their mouth.

I’ve learned that sometimes you just aren’t going to make that 5:45pm class at the gym.

I’ve learned that you should never forget your Tide stain stick!

I’ve learned that a person on the train isn’t going to move their bag off the seat next to them unless you ask.

I’ve learned seeing chaos in the city each day means you wont realize when there are ten fire trucks blocking off a major street.

I’ve learned that my cat will do anything to sit right on my lap even if it means sitting on the laptop.

I’ve learned that it’s a good idea to wait to buy because it might go on sale.

I’ve learned that running two miles on a treadmill when you’ve never done it before will cause your heart to hurt the next morning.

I’ve learned that even if you’ve been on America’s Next Top Model doesn’t mean you will be a model – it only means you will get recognized while being a waitress in a restaurant.

I’ve learned that sometimes you just need a night of talking about vaginas.

I’ve learned you can turn anyone into a cheerleader!

February 8, 2009

I’ve learned that the home improvements will never end.

I’ve learned that when the closet looks like it’s going to collapse, it’s only a matter of time before it does.

I’ve learned that the cat will never stop eating string.

I’ve learned that the freight elevator is there for my middle of the day breakdown.

I’ve learned there is something comforting about the fact that my best friend doesn’t have a job and she can answer the phone in the middle of the day while I’m in the freight elevator.

I’ve learned that too much cinnamon and not enough egg while cooking French toast will cause a lot of smoke.

I’ve learned that the smoke alarm REALLY works!

I’ve learned that everyone is on edge right now because of the economy and if you say you aren’t, YOU ARE LYING.

I’ve learned that you can teach a cat commands like you can teach a dog.

I’ve learned that the water in the shower can never be too hot.

I’ve learned that when it’s past 9pm, there is NO WAY I will stay up through the whole movie.

I’ve learned that nothing is better than eating Entenmann’s right out of the box.

September 9, 2008

I’ve learned that painting takes three times longer than you think it does.

I’ve learned that even though you’re only moving four blocks away, it’s impossible to move without a vehicle.

I’ve learned that unless you actually live in NYC, you will never appreciate what it’s like to own a 900 square foot apartment (it’s seriously huge!).

I’ve learned that there is no soap at Home Depot.

I’ve learned that there is nothing better than Italian cookies.

I’ve learned that it’s pretty scary to choke on a carrot!

I’ve learned that no television means catching up on Super Mario.

I’ve learned that young cats are more resilient to change.

I’ve learned that sometimes you have to just let things go.

I’ve learned that the cat will never stop ruining clothing or shoes or anything else he can chew on!

I’ve learned that people just don’t know when to get off their cell phone.

I've learned that it's fun to be a tourist when a visitor comes.

I've learned that I am going to buy more tickets to the Mets games.

I've learned that a cupcake isn't a cupcake unless there's a candle in it.

I’ve learned to love another website as much as I love ebay and it’s called etsy!

July 20, 2008

I’ve learned that once you figure out the difference between a “fun” friend and a “true” friend, your view on friendships change for the better.

I’ve learned that renovations make a huge difference.

I’ve learned that when your best friend is due to have a baby in two days, you better not forget your phone.

I’ve learned that while most calls at 1am are usually bad news, it is possible for the news to be good!

I’ve learned that sometimes you need to give someone a chance to apologize.

I’ve learned that bosses get sick too.

I’ve learned that it’s ok to have ice cream on Monday, coconut crème pie on Tuesday, hot fudge sundae on Wednesday, sorbet on Thursday and nothing to eat for dinner on Friday.

I’ve learned that H&M has the best dresses – and they are cheap.

I’ve learned it’s impossible to eat when it’s 95 degrees outside and there is no air conditioner in the restaurant.

I’ve learned that I will never (I repeat, NEVER) again see a big movie opening weekend in NYC.

I’ve learned that it’s absolutely possible to form new friendships even as an adult and that building those relationships will make you a better person.

I’ve learned that I’ve spend almost 15 years without Super Mario and oh, how I’ve missed him!

July 8, 2008

I’ve learned that it’s quite possible to have the busiest month in the history of busiest months and there really isn’t time to write!

I’ve learned that when you get word at 11pm that your best friend had a baby, it’s basically impossible to get any sleep.

I’ve learned that it will always rain when I’ve waited six weeks to get an appointment to get my hair done.

I’ve learned that from now on I will do everything in my power to not check luggage on a plane.

I’ve learned that it’s ok to be obsessed with a song that was last summer’s hit.

I’ve learned that your air conditioner will break on a day when it’s 95 degrees outside and you’re four weeks away from moving to a different apartment.

I’ve learned that getting a cable box replaced takes two weeks in NYC.

I’ve learned that if you need assistance, you cannot show up ONE MINUTE after Time Warner Cable closes at night.

I’ve learned that when they say they will get security, you should believe them.

I’ve learned that you must turn off your cell phone when you’re taking a pilates class.

I’ve learned that hard work pays off when the economy is bad.

I’ve learned that buying an apartment in NYC is the longest process imaginable.

I’ve learned that a $10 trip to Target will wind up costing me $50.

I’ve learned that sugaring up a ten and a twelve year old at 10pm probably isn’t the best idea.

I’ve learned that as much as two children want to do something, if it involves standing in line for two hours, they will complain the entire time.

I’ve learned that children do not like a lot of stuff on their sundaes.

I’ve learned that children think Mexican Food consists of a taco with only meat.

I’ve learned that you should only take TUMS when it’s absolutely, 100% positively necessary.

I’ve learned that when you have a friend who lives in Israel, you’re truly sad when they leave after a visit with you because you really aren’t sure when you’ll see them again.

I’ve learned that when you’re talking about getting pregnant, you are disappointed when you get your period even if you aren’t really trying to get pregnant.

I’ve learned that even though he won’t complain…. He REALLY does not want to watch The Joy Luck Club.

June 1st, 2008

I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how handsome you are, you look like an idiot in a red tie!

I’ve learned that rain is better with a colorful umbrella.

I’ve learned that an evening spent eating soup and catching up on TV is sometimes better than having plans.

I’ve learned that I’m not the only one who enjoys watching rats on the subway tracks.

I’ve learned that real men read Martha Stewart Living.

I’ve learned that when it’s your body, sometimes you know better than a doctor.

I’ve learned that I might be a child of the 70’s because I know how to tie-dye!

I’ve learned that sometimes you just need to throw that hair up in a ponytail.

I’ve learned that when traveling, my suitcase will ALWAYS be the last suitcase on the baggage claim.

I’ve learned that when I have weekend vacation plans that get canceled, all my best friends are super quick to ask if I’ll come visit them instead. (awwwww.)

I’ve learned that it’s not smart to drink two cups of coffee, eat three bowls of raisin bran and drink a glass of Metamucil twenty-four hours before you’re scheduled to board a flight.

I’ve learned sometimes a photographer (ech-em husband) should not be messing with settings on your own camera when you’re about to take a trip without him!

I’ve learned that planes really do leave on time.

I’ve learned that sometimes it takes going over the Manhattan Bridge in a taxi at midnight to realize I live in the best place in the world.

May 10, 2008

Pregnant?

Yeah…. No. I’m not.

But that woman on the Q train thought I was.

And this is what I’ve learned this week. I’ve learned that when you dress in the morning, you must, and I will repeat, MUST look at yourself from every angle in a mirror.

With this being said, it doesn’t matter that you are a size 2. If you are at child-bearing age, you’re wearing some sweater that makes you look pregnant, and you have some big ass tah-tahs – there is no saying who will give up their seat on the train for you.

So listen to me people – look at yourself from EVERY. SINGLE. ANGLE. in the mirror before you walk out the door.

Trust.

May 3, 2008

I’ve learned that women must start saying no to the scrunchie.

I’ve learned that before you ladies start wearing gorgeous open toe shoes, you better make sure you’ve had a pedicure.

I’ve learned that one cat will give me no problem clipping his claws, but the other one is a real pain in the ass!

I’ve learned that sometimes it’s ok to skip lunch and have frozen yogurt with fruit instead (hey! At least it’s not ice cream!).

I’ve learned that when you’re not in a rush, sometimes it’s worth taking the local train.

I’ve learned that when you have a lot to look forward to, you forget about some of it!

I’ve learned that if I keep taking pilates with my instructor, my abs will most certainly be solid come June.

I’ve learned that men no longer open doors for women.

I’ve learned that if I can listen to high pitched beeping every five seconds for eight hours straight, I can handle anything!

I’ve learned that the weather forecast can change by the hour.

I’ve learned that there is something about receiving a care package from your friend’s mother that makes you feel loved.

I’ve learned that if you wear x-small underwear, you probably wear an x-small bikini bottom.

I’ve learned that there is nothing like a Tootsie Roll.

April 13, 2008

I’ve learned that a woman preaching about Jesus is not the first thing I want to listen to on the subway in the morning.

I’ve learned that when my cat is acting erratic, there is a cockroach in the apartment.

I’ve learned that sometimes it’s ok to be vain.

I’ve learned that a flea market is the best place to find some cute vintage stickers.

I’ve learned that there is a reason why we didn’t buy that apartment eighteen months ago.

I’ve learned that just because it’s free doesn’t mean you need it.

I’ve learned that accepting the offer at my job is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life.

I’ve learned that if you want to get your stomach muscles in tip-top shape, take some pilates classes.

I’ve learned that my husband and I make the best team of creating baby shower invitations.

I’ve learned that sometimes you just have to say….”I don’t care if we’ve been there already. I want to go there again!”

I’ve learned that there are so many exciting things about to happen in our lives and I can’t wait!

April 5, 2008

I enjoy writing when I’m happy. That’s just me. Who wants to hear this is wrong…. And that is wrong…. Oh, and this is wrong too? The past couple of months have been tough. I went from having 3 healthy grandparents just nine months ago to now having one pass away, one in complete confusion and not remember anything that happened to him in the last 30 seconds and one diagnosed with lung cancer. Needless to say, it’s been a hard ten weeks.

Things are looking up and I am back to writing again……

Good Things I’ve Learned Over the Past Ten Weeks:

I’ve learned that if it rains hard enough outside, it will be raining inside of that subway station.

I’ve learned that you should not wear UGGS if there is any change of snow accumulation.

I’ve learned that sometimes you will get a nice bus driver.

I’ve learned that sending Valentine’s Day packages is something I enjoy doing and if someone can’t have the decency to call and say “THANK YOU”, they aren’t getting one next year.

I’ve learned that I enjoy commuting to work with my husband.

I’ve learned that my cat is deathly afraid of the ironing board, but that he doesn’t mind laying on it any chance he gets.

I’ve learned that it’s fun having straight hair when I haven’t done it in a while.

I’ve learned that I will never understand why an adult puts their hands in their mouth.

I’ve learned that contacts don’t work in tired eyes.

I’ve learned that when J.Crew says green PATENT belt, it’s really going to be shiny!

I’ve learned that I will never again sell a game system on ebay!

I’ve learned that eighteen year olds look me up and down like I am their age.

I’ve learned that my bra cup size is bigger than a yarmulke.

I’ve learned that there is nothing like shopping with someone else’s money.

I’ve learned that if it’s not nailed to the ground, it can be sold on ebay.

I’ve learned that it’s nice to have an old friend to remind you of your life ten years ago when all you talked about is moving to New York City.

I’ve learned that you should NEVER order underwear online because you might just end up returning 14 pairs!

I’ve learned that your life is all about your attitude towards the things surrounding it!